I've written a book. Can I send it to you to look at?

Unfortunately, no. This is partly for legal reasons, but mostly because I'm just too lazy. I do read manuscript drafts for friends, but it takes a lot of time and energy to read and critique a book well, so if you're going to ask me to do it, you had better be a very good friend.

How do I get published?

Get an agent. Having a reputable agent means you will be taken much more seriously by busy editors who are eager to find any reason to reject your book (and if you're agented, editors will offer you more money, more than canceling out the cost of the agent's commission!). Having an agent also helps you take yourself more seriously, because you know there's at least one industry insider who believes in you and your talent enough to spend serious time and money on you.

There are hundreds of good agents out there, with all kinds of different tastes (check The Guide to Literary Agents for a complete list). Getting published is hard as hell, but getting an agent is relatively easy, at least if you have a marketable, competently-written book.

But a word of warning about agents: there are a million scam-artists out there who pose as agents, and they will try hard to steal your money. Here's a link to Writer Beware, a really good site that documents all kinds of writing scams. Every aspiring writer should read it.

You might also be interested in this article I wrote for The Purple Crayon .

Who is your agent?

I happen to have the very best agent in the whole entire world-- Jennifer DeChiara . You can contact her if you want, but I really wish you wouldn't, because I'd rather have her devote all of her time to me.

Incidentally, if you do sign with an agent, make sure your contract has an "out" clause. You should be able to part ways at any time or, at worst, after a three-month waiting period. The agent-client partnership is a business relationship, and most of the power is with the agent; you the writer desperately need the leverage of being able to leave if things aren't working out. Being stuck with a bad agent really is worse than not having any agent at all.

Is it hard to get published?

Here's what I did to get published: over the course of fifteen years, I wrote eight novels, twelve plays, fifteen screenplays, and hundreds of short stories; I sent out thousand s of query letters; I moved to both New York and Los Angeles; I attended dozens of writing conferences and at least fifteen playwriting festivals; I met with and sucked up to at least a hundred different editiors, agents or producers; I went through six agents; and I joined and attended eight different critique groups.

Yes, it's hard to get published.

Why is it so hard to get published?

Because everyone wants to be a writer, and thanks to word processors, it's easier than ever to try. At the same time, people are buying and reading fewer and fewer books. See the problem? And to make things even worse, the world of publishing has become much more corporate, just like Hollywood--much less about the quality of the books and much more about quarterly profits and "sure-fire" hits (now you know why so many celebrities are getting book deals and you're not!). Publishers are now very very reluctant to take risks, especially on unknown, unproven, or unconventional authors. In such a conservative business climate, publishing is more than ever about who you know (which is why it's so important to have a good, well-connected agent!).

All that said, it's not completely hopeless. Everyone is writing a book, true, but most of them are awful--not serious competition for the legitimate writer. And it might encourage you to know that when my partner Michael Jensen and I both set out to be novelists, we didn't know anyone at all (and we didn't know anything about the world of publishing). Fifteen years later, we've both sold multiple books to major publishers and made hundreds of thousands of dollars. From our point-of-view, that's a one hundred percent success rate!

Should I e-publish or go POD?

I wouldn't. I've heard all the arguments, but to me, it's still vanity publishing. And that means no respect, no legitimacy, and no press. People tell me, "But the royalty rate is so much higher!" Yes, but there's no foreign, no audio, no movie rights, no speaking fees, no publicity department, no trade reps, and no bookstore sales. Yes, there are one or two famous exceptions that went on to be big sellers. But there are tens of thousands of POD and e-books published each year, and I can count the successes on one hand.

For the record, it's hard to get people to shell out their hard-earned money on a book. And why would anyone buy your unknown POD or e-book when the bookstores are full of books that got rave reviews from the New York Times?

The only exception I can think of is if you have a niche non-fiction book with an obvious, proven audience. Such books often do quite well, and are later picked up by major publishers. But if we're talking about a novel? Save your money.

One final word. I think POD really underestimates the importance of the editor in the publishing process. Simply put, I am a professional writer, but my first drafts suck. So do some of my second and third drafts. Every book needs a editor--an impartial professional whose job it is to help you to make necessary changes, and who, by doing so, makes a promising manuscript publication-worthy.

How do I sell my screenplay for a million dollars?

Good question. If you find out, let me know.

A note about the world of screenwriting: don't believe a word anyone says. No matter what they tell you, it's all hot air and lies. The only thing that's real is the check (and sometimes checks bounce!). I'm absolutely serious about this.

How do I get people to buy my book?

Here is the secret to selling lots of books: word-of-mouth. A few big-name authors rely on advertising and appearances on Good Morning America. The rest of us rely on critics, booksellers, and readers to read our books, then recommend them to their readers, customers, and friends. It's that simple. If you have a book most people really like, it will most likely find its audience.

But that doesn't mean book promotion is worthless, because you have to reach a certain level of visibility and distribution for word-of-mouth to make any difference. As far as book promotion goes, I think a web presence is the single most important thing. The second most important thing is face-to-face contact. Get out there and do readings, talk to civic groups, meet booksellers. Once people actually meet you (and assuming you're not a jerk, which some writers are), you will have fans for life. You're not a people person? Get over it, or consider another career. With the market so tight these days, it's just that important.

Here are two in-depth interviews I did on promoting one's books. It's everything I know!

How much money do you make?

Something you need to know about writers: we'll tell you the most intimate details of our lives (often cleverly disguised as "fiction"), but we NEVER let on how much money we make. When I was an unpublished writer, this used to drive me crazy. But now that I'm on the inside looking out, it suddenly makes a lot more sense. Let's just say that I write fiction full-time, and I make a nice living, okay?

But since I won't answer this question, I will substitute an answer to a question that's just as personal: briefs.

What's the worst part of being a writer?

The worst part is definitely the rejection, which is unrelenting. Until you're successful, everyone seems so eager to reject you. (On the other hand, once you are successful, you can suddenly do no wrong!)

The second worst part of writing is the waiting. Every decision takes at least three times longer than they say it will (I've never seen a decision about anything reached quickly). And once a project is finally accepted by a publisher or producer, it takes at least a year--sometimes two or three!--before it actually sees the light of day.

What's the best part of being a writer?

Having people say they liked or were somehow touched by your work. It just never gets old.

It's also nice to imagine that all my rivals and enemies from over the years are green with envy over my success.

What are the most common mistakes new writers make?

I am intimately familiar with the mistakes new writers make, because I made every single one.

I think the single biggest mistake is not outlining or somehow structuring a book beforehand. New writers often just sit down at a computer and begin writing. Most say they like the spontaneity of this, that they want to be "surprised" by what the characters do and "discover" what happens to them. Unfortunately, the writer usually ends up with a meandering, confused mess of a book with no clear theme. Some people can structure a book intuitively, but most people can't.

Incidentally, I really used to resist outlining. Now I know that while character and beautiful language are important, story is what keeps readers turning the pages. But story is all about structure, and structure almost never just "happens." If this is news to you, read one of the many books on dramatic structure.

A second big mistake new writers make is picking a vaguely defined, hard-to-describe, or done-to-death idea for a book. These days, before you can sell your book, you first need to sell people on the idea of your book; agents, editors, and marketing types all need to be convinced that your book will make them money. And if a publisher does buy your book, you and they will then need to sell it to fickle, disinterested media people, most of whom can't be bothered to read your magnum opus. If you really want to sell your book to a publisher, and if after it's published you want people to buy the damn thing, your life is made much easier by picking an idea with both pizzazz and a killer hook--something that really sets your book apart from all others. (And by the way, the world already has too many books featuring child-wizards, vampires, or talking mice!)

Incidentally, plenty of established writers make the above-mentioned two mistakes too. The difference is, they have devoted fans who will buy whatever they write. Plus, they already have book contracts.

Do you have any other advice for writers?

Be prepared for the fact that you'll hear "no" a lot more than you'll hear "yes" (the ratio is approximately 1000 "nos" for every 1 "yes"!). The stories you hear about overnight sensations are exceptions to the rule. Most writers struggle in obscurity for years, with little or no acclaim or financial reward. Some eventually break out, but the vast majority do not (I think it's interesting that I have a lot of very bitter writer-friends, but that none of my doctor or lawyer friends are bitter!). If you choose to devote your life to writing, accept the possibility that you might never make a living from it, even if you're very talented. It's a big, cold world out there, and no one "owes" you anything, especially a career as an artist.

That said, if you must write, then write. But first, learn the craft. Make it dramatic and get to the point. Avoid lots of description and boring talk, focus on your story and on the action (all writers should do this, but it's particularly important when writing for teenagers and kids). Avoid current events and slang, which are constantly changing and which will make your book seem dated by the time it's published in 2-3 years (often I make up my own slang--"docious!" "that heaps"--but I try very hard to make it sound "real").

Finally, don't get discouraged. Because good writing is personal, it's hard not to take rejections personally. But being a sane writer means having an ego of granite with a Teflon coating. And being a successful writer means being very, very, very, very persistent.

Now do you have a question? Then email me!

Go to Questions About Dreamquest

Go to Questions About the Geography Club/Russel Middlebrook Series