Hi Brent this is very very true …even in the uk …my son is in year 2 university is a prime example of this as are his peers it’s so disheartening to see …we keep telling him there is a big huge world out there …❣️🙌
While I recognize that not everybody can eschew their smartphones for myriad reasons, there is a subset of people (myself included) who have made the switch to dumbphones, either as a temporary weekend/getaway phone or even a permanent lifestyle change! They range in style from flip and candybar form factors like those good old reliable Nokias, to ones with touchscreens such as the Light Phone. If it gives you any hope for future generations, I'm only 29 years old—and Gen Z has become similarly conscious of the harm of nonstop connectivity, forming "Luddite Clubs" where the express purpose is to enjoy each other's company in person; indeed, many members are dumbphone users as well! Don't get me wrong, I'm grateful for the Internet for allowing me to continue to follow the adventures of one of my favorite authors (not to mention the many other tasks such as banking that are easier online), but I do these tasks on my laptop where I can keep it contained and otherwise live in the moment. 😌
haha thank you, Liam! And that is FANTASTIC. Love the idea of Luddite Clubs! I have considered a dumbphone -- I need to explore this more seriously. The problem is something I do need access to something... Hmmm, intrigue though.
(I'm getting a new phone this week, and I made a point to get it AS SMALL AS POSSIBLE. That should help too.)
Yeah I feel the same way. If I -- the least addiction-oriented person of all time! -- feel such a strong pull, what do kids with much less self-control and who have never know anything different feel?
I do agree that actually going to parties is generally a good thing, but they are extremely draining and I can only handle them once in a great while. Also, while I'm no particular fan of internet cats, we've never once had to clean internet cat piss off our clothing. We've had to do that twice since coming to Morocco.
Great post Brent. I've been lamenting the lack of community and my friends lack of willingness and wanting to get together regularly for years. It's one of the biggest reasons I'm leaving my home in Thailand and moving to Valencia. I'm really hopeful that I will find more community here. But yes it's happening worldwide, so I suppose I shouldn't get my hopes up too high eh!? Anyways, I'm with you.
Thank you. Oh, I'm sorry to hear that's happening even in Thailand. You'll like Valencia (although we didn't like it enough to move there permanently lol). There is a massive expat community there, for sure.
You make a compelling argument to go to the party Brent. Next time I waffle on it, your voice will be in my head! Symptom withdrawal - I have felt that sometimes, it's insane, and why I only Substack from my laptop now and not from my phone.
Love these lines "And the only way you do that is to be part of something greater than yourself — by taking an interest in other people."
I'm reminded of lyrics from Simon and Garfunkel: "And a rock feels no pain. And an island never cries." Except, of course, if that rock and that island are actually, you know, people.
It makes sense that you've seen happiness in shared communities around the world. Getting love is terrific. But the true joy of love is in the giving. If we put the two sides of love together... you get the picture. ♥️
You’re not a crank at all! Phones and online life make us less social in real life, because real life is often more difficult so less desirable. But the best times are spent without our phones in the company of others. Unless we’re writing of course and seek the solitude.
Thanks, Claire. It's strange, growing older, and feeling sooooo alienated from what's "normal" (in America at least -- not necessarily the rest of the world). It often feels like I not longer fit in but it's nice to know I'm not alone.
Following your advice and attending a party this very evening, and as the people are all 50+, there shouldn´t be any problems with phone addiction (hopefully). Thank you for another spot-on analysis with a hopeful outlook.
I can honestly say I don't like going to parties where people's noses are stuck in their phones. I don't bring my phone to social gatherings. And it is definitely an American thing. I haven't been out of the country in a long time so I can't speak about other places.
The last time I went out with a group of people (there were nine in our immediate group) into a meeting place for a fish fry, every single person was on their phone except three of us. And guess what? We laughed, shared stories, talked to the few others who weren't on their phones in other groups and it was a blast. I'm older so for some reason I didn't think everyone would be on their phones.
It's cop-out for bing social. You hit on a big reason why I'm campaigning for moving to another part of the world, my husband has agreed to try it out for a few months to see if he can handle it. And I know, language will be an issue. I'm not worried about it, if anything, it will help us engage and stay alert. There is more to life than being online. Reality. What a concept.
I think it is MUCH less of a big deal outside of America. But sadly, things are changing. The rest of the world often seems to me to he 5-20 years behind America, when it comes to technology. But the families and communities are sooooooo mucj stronger.
I would've gone berserk if id been with your friends! Talk about missing the forest for the trees.
Hi Brent this is very very true …even in the uk …my son is in year 2 university is a prime example of this as are his peers it’s so disheartening to see …we keep telling him there is a big huge world out there …❣️🙌
(I still think you were right to force him to take the bus. hehe.)
Oh, I'm sorry to hear it's happening in the UK too. Disheartening indeed!
Amazing how stepping out of something (America) lends such clarity and perspective… Well said Brent, GO TO THE DAMN PARTY! 🥳 Haha
Haha thanks.
While I recognize that not everybody can eschew their smartphones for myriad reasons, there is a subset of people (myself included) who have made the switch to dumbphones, either as a temporary weekend/getaway phone or even a permanent lifestyle change! They range in style from flip and candybar form factors like those good old reliable Nokias, to ones with touchscreens such as the Light Phone. If it gives you any hope for future generations, I'm only 29 years old—and Gen Z has become similarly conscious of the harm of nonstop connectivity, forming "Luddite Clubs" where the express purpose is to enjoy each other's company in person; indeed, many members are dumbphone users as well! Don't get me wrong, I'm grateful for the Internet for allowing me to continue to follow the adventures of one of my favorite authors (not to mention the many other tasks such as banking that are easier online), but I do these tasks on my laptop where I can keep it contained and otherwise live in the moment. 😌
haha thank you, Liam! And that is FANTASTIC. Love the idea of Luddite Clubs! I have considered a dumbphone -- I need to explore this more seriously. The problem is something I do need access to something... Hmmm, intrigue though.
(I'm getting a new phone this week, and I made a point to get it AS SMALL AS POSSIBLE. That should help too.)
100 percent agree it’s the smartphones. The illusion of connection is strong. And with it comes a perhaps even stronger illusion—protection.
But yes, we must attend the parties, be close-knit irl with those in our communities. I, too, have seen this truth on my travels.
To connecting in person! (Which I hope to do with you and Michael some day if our travels ever take us to the same spot at the same time) :)
That would be lovely! And yes, it's a small world, I'm sure it will happen eventually.
It is a small world indeed.
The addiction stuff is really wild. I would hate to be a kid growing up with all this going on! It's hard enough as an adult 😵💫
Yeah I feel the same way. If I -- the least addiction-oriented person of all time! -- feel such a strong pull, what do kids with much less self-control and who have never know anything different feel?
I do agree that actually going to parties is generally a good thing, but they are extremely draining and I can only handle them once in a great while. Also, while I'm no particular fan of internet cats, we've never once had to clean internet cat piss off our clothing. We've had to do that twice since coming to Morocco.
😂😂😂 You make a good point about real cats! (The neighboring house full of feral cats here in PV STINKS to high heaven!)
Great post Brent. I've been lamenting the lack of community and my friends lack of willingness and wanting to get together regularly for years. It's one of the biggest reasons I'm leaving my home in Thailand and moving to Valencia. I'm really hopeful that I will find more community here. But yes it's happening worldwide, so I suppose I shouldn't get my hopes up too high eh!? Anyways, I'm with you.
Thank you. Oh, I'm sorry to hear that's happening even in Thailand. You'll like Valencia (although we didn't like it enough to move there permanently lol). There is a massive expat community there, for sure.
You make a compelling argument to go to the party Brent. Next time I waffle on it, your voice will be in my head! Symptom withdrawal - I have felt that sometimes, it's insane, and why I only Substack from my laptop now and not from my phone.
Love these lines "And the only way you do that is to be part of something greater than yourself — by taking an interest in other people."
Thank you. Yes, I struggle with all these issues too. I've eliminated a number of apps from my phone as well.
Haha, glad I can be "the voice"!
I'm reminded of lyrics from Simon and Garfunkel: "And a rock feels no pain. And an island never cries." Except, of course, if that rock and that island are actually, you know, people.
It makes sense that you've seen happiness in shared communities around the world. Getting love is terrific. But the true joy of love is in the giving. If we put the two sides of love together... you get the picture. ♥️
I LOVE that song! I've always read it as a person trying to convince himself he is an island and a rock, but he isn't, and he's desperately alone. LOL
You're right though. OMG I must be old if I think that true joy comes from giving it! LOL
You’re not a crank at all! Phones and online life make us less social in real life, because real life is often more difficult so less desirable. But the best times are spent without our phones in the company of others. Unless we’re writing of course and seek the solitude.
Thanks, Claire. It's strange, growing older, and feeling sooooo alienated from what's "normal" (in America at least -- not necessarily the rest of the world). It often feels like I not longer fit in but it's nice to know I'm not alone.
Following your advice and attending a party this very evening, and as the people are all 50+, there shouldn´t be any problems with phone addiction (hopefully). Thank you for another spot-on analysis with a hopeful outlook.
Have fun! And thank you 😍
🥳🥳🥳
I can honestly say I don't like going to parties where people's noses are stuck in their phones. I don't bring my phone to social gatherings. And it is definitely an American thing. I haven't been out of the country in a long time so I can't speak about other places.
The last time I went out with a group of people (there were nine in our immediate group) into a meeting place for a fish fry, every single person was on their phone except three of us. And guess what? We laughed, shared stories, talked to the few others who weren't on their phones in other groups and it was a blast. I'm older so for some reason I didn't think everyone would be on their phones.
It's cop-out for bing social. You hit on a big reason why I'm campaigning for moving to another part of the world, my husband has agreed to try it out for a few months to see if he can handle it. And I know, language will be an issue. I'm not worried about it, if anything, it will help us engage and stay alert. There is more to life than being online. Reality. What a concept.
I think it is MUCH less of a big deal outside of America. But sadly, things are changing. The rest of the world often seems to me to he 5-20 years behind America, when it comes to technology. But the families and communities are sooooooo mucj stronger.
I would've gone berserk if id been with your friends! Talk about missing the forest for the trees.